The shock of it all

Becoming a first time mom is shocking.  If you parent as I have, you have given up all of your freedom, your ability to think and life as you had always known it to be (pre-child).  You can't go to the bathroom by yourself, shower when you are in need, eat when you are hungry or sleep when you are tired.  Not only that, but the friends that you have without kids stop coming by and calling because either they can't relate or they can't tolerate the screams.  The friends you have that have their own kids are too busy to keep in touch.  It can be a very isolating experience.  I was lucky to be able to sign up for a number of classes with my little guy. This helped me to find other moms who were in the same situation and with that same overwhelmed and sleep deprived look in their eyes.  After a while though, I realized that other moms were starting to seem better and their kids were sleeping and taking bottles.  These women were going out with friends and getting dressed again (That sounded weird, but I have been mostly living in maternity clothes and pajamas for 7 years now).  These women became human again, not just moms, but members of society.  I was never able to make that leap.  My kid was still crying like a newborn and up every 15 minutes.  If I fed him and lay in bed for a few minutes feeling bad for myself, then I would lose 4 minutes of my allotted 15 minutes of sleep.  It felt like I was losing my mind.